The delicacy of Spanish seaweed has not been sought after as much as the fishermen of the Murcia coast would like. For centuries they have defended against nature and all it can throw at them. Terrifying Terrapin attacks, contamination from the disastrous “Watneys Valdiz” spill in 1974 when five million tonnes of Red Barrel devastated the coastline threatening wild birds and local girls alike. Finally the recent BHS Bikini infestation in the late eighties saw what many believed to be the final death knell of this traditional industry.

 

Restaurants stopped serving Spanish kelp as an accompaniment to turnip paella and even the old custom of running with the kelp during the Pentecostal celebrations in the little fishing communities finally ended with the tragic survival of Steven Segal in 1996.

 

It is amongst this backdrop and with 10 years of subsistent decline management that the Murcian Kelp Marketing board engaged with Juicyfruithippo to see what difference embracing surrealism and risk could do to revive their floundering industry. The answer was through deep rooted ignorance and sheer fluke the team of humour consultants discovered that the Murcian kelp had a unique property that enhanced the ability of those who ate it regularly to assert themselves more effectively in confrontational situations. This is due to the interaction the kelp has with the centre of the brain that reduces the tendency of British people simply to tut and then inexplicably apologise, but overrides this hormonal response and replaces it with hugely violent and intimidating behaviour such as aggressive eyebrow usage,  premptive folding of arms whilst asking for a manager and ultimately the resolve not to pay the 12.5 percent service charge added to the bill.

 

Rebranding began under, “you don’t need help just eat kelp” launched a series of refined kelp products into the mood altering foodstuffs market last year culminating in product launch and award winning campaign “Murcia’s Kelp Cider, drink straight form the bottle then break it over the waiters head”. Chief Sales Officer Marcus Mcmanususus said “our use of the Dali processes really helped us to reinvent this product and maximise its capability, reach and stinky sliminess to allow it to reach maximum potential, frankly its disgusting stuff but if means that a few guys down in Spain no longer have to eat their donkeys for christmas, frankly I am chuffed”

CEO Stan Blokeman will attend a Kelp Sliming Festival in Murcia in June where he will be ceremonially and brutally violated in almost unimaginable ways by way of a thankyou for the boost juciyfruithippo.com has brought to the region.