Since suffering a freak Dairy Lea Cheese Triangle accident the CEO of Juicyfruithippo has been locked in the ironclad grip of a regressive coma. Today it has been revealed he has awoken with a blinding knee ache and a craving for ostrich.

He claims to have been sent back to 1973 where he awoke as a broccoli floret in the salad of Moisher Diane. His futile attempts to stop The Yom Kippur War were tharted when he was drowned in a viscious vinargette attack. "I was simply trying to be assertive" he was quoted as saying but Doctors Claim he was just in a persistant vegetative state.

It is anticapted that he will be back at his desk in the mroning, drooling over his keyboard, moaning, shouting the christian names of the Nolan sisters at passers by and throwing hand carved otters at a frozen yoghurt effigy of Bob Marley. Doctors, however, do not believe that expecting a full recovery in 24 hours is realistic.